"I'd rather have your presence without Your promises than the absence of Your presence with the promises."- Exodus 33:15
"It is astonishing, how many difficulties clear up without any effort when the inner life gets straightened out" - A.W. Tozer
What's in it for God when He arranges a wilderness journey for us? He desires to strengthen the level of our relationship. God longs for a intimate and close relationship with Him the way we have intimate and close relationships with the people we love. Unfortunately, we have the tendency to take advantage of our relationship with God and allow our passions to fall back.
When we fall in love with someone, we spend all our time with them. We invest many hours and days to be with this person and we are eager to spend more time with them as much as possible no matter how late in the day it may be. However, after a good amount of years with a person, we have a tendency to focus our time on other things like work, hobbies, etc. Our ways of being so familiar with someone can lead to being selfish and we forget to set time aside to be with the person we love.
Many followers of Christ reach a comfort zone or a stand still where they begin to maintain rather than pursue. They are no longer chasing after God the way they once did in the beginning. There are times where they set their personal spiritual standards by comparing themselves to others or by what they feel is adequate ("placing grey areas into the Lord's commands"). At this rate, followers begin to stop seeking to know God deeply as a person.
We surround ourselves with the goals and passions of this life in the world that we forget to spend time with the Lord and look to our passions and goals in the kingdom life. At this rate, we look to God for His blessings rather than to know Him. There's a tendency in our hearts to begin turning from God to self. Some may continue to develop "Christian" friendships and build their status or position in the church, but they no longer yearn for the One who gives them life.
This is a hard pill to swallow when you finally realize this was you. For years I thought I was constantly growing in the Lord and that the level I was reaching was "it". Not realizing that when you've hit a point of saying to yourself "I've learned everything, I know everything" you actually haven't. There's so much to learn about God's word and who He is. No matter how many times you may read a certain verse, learn the same lesson, or hear the same story, when you are continuously growing your relationship with God, you will see and learn more than you learned prior.
I definitely experienced that era of feeling like I knew everything, thinking grey areas existed in the bible where doing one thing didn't seem bad because other's were doing worse or it seemed like it was "a grey area" so a line could be crossed and I was still covered. This is one big mistake a lot of us make. We want to enjoy the world and work in the kingdom and I think that tendency is to make ourselves feel good about wanting to be in both worlds. In all retrospect, it's completely incorrect. To live a transformed life is to let go of the worldly life.
Now I'm not saying goals and success are wrong. It's about our heart and mindset. Do we pursue God with great urge the way we do the goals in our job and successes in life? Do we cross a line of placing "grey areas" to God's intention and design because we want to feel better about crossing that line? Friends, we cannot look at God and our relationship with Him in that light. There is no hall pass to what we need to abide by biblically. If doing something bad gives you a sense of it being okay, that is when you know it's not. When you feel like a "grey area" exist in the Word of God, that again is a knowing what you're about to do or are doing is not of the kingdom. The kingdom life is not easy but it's honestly not meant to be easy.
If we place the standards and desires of God for us on the shelf and only pick at it when it's convenient for our life, then don't question God or start looking for Him when you need something and it seems that He put you on the shelf and isn't connecting with you. Who are we to tell God He owes us something? Who are we to even have so much anger against Him when life isn't going the way we hoped for? Who are we to question the creator who gave us life? When we spend time seeking God's benefits and blessings rather than desiring an intimate relationship with Him, we are easily misled.
We can be honest and pat ourselves on the back for spending the time to pray when we thank God for the food or when we need something, but if you look at this in His vantage point, we'd realize we're attempting to use Him. God then becomes reduced to a source of help in our time of need. Yet, He loves us too much to leave us deceived. God will do for us what He did for these multitudes who were seeking Jesus.
In John 6:22-26, when the people saw that Jesus was not there, nor His disciples, they also got into boats and came to Capernaum, seeking Jesus. And when they found Him on the other side of the sea, they said to Him, "Rabbi", when did You come here? Jesus answered them and said, "Most assuredly, I say to you, you seek Me, not because you saw the signs, but because you are of the loaves and were filled.
This first shows that Jesus knew and knows the true motivation behind our actions. When the multitudes of people came "seeking Him", He discerned that they were more interested in another blessing ("free meal") than in seeing and understanding the signs. A sign gives directions or information, it doesn't point to itself. Jesus knew the crowds really weren't following Him because of the signs that revealed Who He is, but only so their stomachs would be filled.
Do you know a person who only contacts you when they need or want something from you? There was no genuine concern or love for you, but for a time you served their purpose and to be used like this is painful. This selfish attitude has permeated society, as well as the body of Christ. Many people in the church are discontented, and their love for Jesus has simmered down. Some serve the Lord for personal benefits instead of out of passionate love for who He is. So as long as God provides for their want, they are happy and excited about Him. But when trouble comes and life gets hard, the motives of their heart is revealed.
The pandemic of 2020 and the wilderness journey I'm on has opened my eyes to realizing my motives in the things I desire and pray for. It has opened my eyes to my relationship with God and made me realize that I wasn't always seeing Jesus for who He is, I was looking at Him for what He can do. We all know in having relationships with a significant other or friend that when we feel used in certain moments in life we'd drop them without thinking twice about it. And yet this is how we treat God and He continues to walk beside us.
Any time the focus is self, complaint will never end. Why? Because trouble or difficulty will eventually come. When it does, the complaining, fueled by selfishness, will begin. As the difficulty continues, so will the complaining. This pattern is illustrated again by the children of Israel. When the Lord delivered them from the horrors of life in Egypt under Pharaoh, the people rejoiced (Exodus 15:20-21). The Israelites could not be more happier. They were overwhelmed by God's greatness, miraculous power, and goodness in delivering them from their captors. Yet only three days later, when they encountered the bitter waters in the wilderness of Shur, the complaining began. (Exodus 15:24)
They grumbled and questioned God. Couldn't the same God who parted the Red Sea provide safe drinking water too? Wasn't Moses the same heroic leader he'd been three days earlier? God did, indeed, change the "bitter waters to sweet." But the memory of the miracle faded quickly too. A few days later, the people continued to complain and this time it was about the food. They responded in a way of stating that life was better for them before God delivered them. In this moment, making bricks with guards beating their backs with a whip was better? In Exodus 16-2:3, The children of Israel complained against Moses and Aaron in the wilderness and said to that, "Oh, that we had died by the hand of the Lord in Egypt, when we say by the pots of meat and when we ate bread to the full!"
As John Bevere shared in his book, in the difficult and low seasons in life when the complaining begins, it is usually directed at leaders, family members, friends, enemies, and even the government. Most of us (out of fear) would never name God as the source of our troubles. Just like the Israelites complained against Moses and Arron, but no doubt what they were really thinking was, It's the Lord who has let us down. Moses saw through it and called them out, " Your complaints are not against us but against the Lord" (Exodus 16:8).
The wilderness reveals the motives of our hearts whether they are selfish or selfless. We need to ask the Holy Spirit to show what is really going on in our hearts and what's driving us. What attitudes or behaviors are keeping us enslaved in our "Egypt" or causing us to complain about the wilderness? It is so important to the health of our future to be honest and open to God's loving corrections. The good news for each of us is that nothing is stopping us from repenting and changing the condition of our heart. In an instant we can turn all our negativity and complaining and begin to seek a relationship with God instead of only using Him as a resource. Out of love, God may send us to the wilderness.
During this wilderness journey I am currently facing, it has been hard to keep my attitude positive because it seems like nothing is ever going to change. It's not so much about waiting in the wilderness but it's the pain, disappointment, and discouragement I've experiencing during this wait. It can get very bothersome and tiring at times when it seems that something is always blocking me from moving into my God-given purpose/destination (the goals and dreams I long for).
I have been reminded that the Lord is using this wilderness journey to refine me. I pray out to God and always ask about why this wilderness journey feels so long, and I'm reminded again that Lord wants to see if I'm serving Him or if I'm serving Him for MY DREAM. After reading this, something sparked inside of me and it made me see that I have to put some careful thought and prayer into determining my true intentions. By waiting on God's timing will I be aligned with what He has in store for me.
"Let us not let our wonderful God-given dream have a higher priority than living in God's presence and only doing what the father desires" (J.B).
We need to remember that God is more than a formula. God Himself was not the focus of the children of Israel so they were unable to know God's ways. They were so excited about what He could do for them that when they didn't see God doing anything in their lives, they strayed away. They were satisfied with the benefits of salvation. They were no longer longing for more of God and wanting to know Him more, and this is where many get this wrong. Our salvation is important but we still need to grow in God's word and work in the kingdom in order to keep our relationship strong and our faith to mature and grow. Accepting Christ into our lives isn't a ticket to heaven. We still need to constantly work on ourselves and grow in the Lord to where we are living and reflecting His character within our lives to continue our guarantee of entering the pearly gates of heaven.
One day in the wilderness, God told Moses to tell the people to consecrate themselves for He was coming to Mount Sinai to speak to them. However, when the Lord showed up in such a magnificent way of showing His greatness, the people couldn't handle it. They saw thunder and lightning and the noise of the trumpets and the mountain smoking. When the people saw it they stood a far and they had Moses speak with the Lord because they were worried they'd die (Exodus 20:18-19). The Israelites wanted answers to their problems instead of a relationship.
How many of us are like the Israelites in trying to keep God's word, His commandments without maintaining a life-giving, personal relationship with Him? Jesus says in John 14:21, " Those who accept My commandments and obey them are the ones who love Me. And because they love Me, My Father will love them. And I will love them and reveal Myself to each of them." We need to focus on the relationship we have with God rather than just following the commandments. Because when we have relationship with God, our love for Him will lead to the desire of wanting to follow the commandments rather than feeling "ceremonial" about following His commandments.
In contrast with the children of Israel, Moses was not okay worshipping God from far. When He saw the Lord appear, he didn't step back like the others, He pressed in. Even though Moses was a great leader and a very influential man, he knew those things alone would never satisfy him. Let's look at the prayer after he had experienced the amazing signs and wonders. "Now therefore, I pray, if I have found grace in Your sight, show me now Your way, that I may know You and that I may find grace in Your sight.. If Your Presence does not go with us, do not bring us up from here. .. Please, show me Your glory." (Exodus 33:13-18)
God made Moses quite an offer. In the middle of this harsh wilderness, God told Moses to go and get the people and bring them to the Promised Land. God even offered to send a choice angel to make sure they got their safely. He reminded Moses how good the land would be and that it would be flowing with milk and honey, loaded with beautiful vistas and gardens. But God said that He would not personally go with them. Once Moses heard this, he refused God's gracious offer. He in essence proclaimed, "I'd rather have your presence without Your promises than the absence of Your presence with the promises."
Reading this was such a huge shake. How many of us have ever thought like this? In this generation of living life much more differently than the older generation, technology advancing, and even life practices evolving, are we willing to drop the promises to have God's presences with us or are the promises more important than having relationship with God? A funny example the author shared in my book was about what we would think about a women whose only ambition was to produce children by her husband with no interest of knowing him personally? She would fall at his feet and cry out, "Oh my husband, please use me to make babies for you! Please, please give me babies or I will die. This overall sounds weird yet is is no different from us crying out to God for Him to "use us to get people saved," when we don't even have much of a relationship with Him ourselves.
When we are intimate with God, children will be born, similar to what happens when a woman is intimate with her husband. Now I hope you are beginning to understand the importance of having a relationship with God. It's not just about doing this and that for God or having this ministry and that ministry. We can't forget about God in the midst of everything we're doing.
In the end, the Israelites were not seeking and pursuing the right thing. They sought the created things, rather than the Creator. Instead of the wilderness being a place of preparation, providing wisdom and strength for the challenges ahead, it became a land of futility which eventually ruined the entire generation from being able to enter the Promised Land. It was such a waste. The Promised Land was within reach and yet they were after their own wants and focusing on the wrong things that they forgot all about the one who saved them out of Egypt and promised them greater things. It's a lesson for us all that we should welcome the wilderness journey and these moments we are spending with the Lord.
Once our wilderness journeys are done and we have reached the destination of God revealing what He was preparing for us, we need to remind ourselves to not forget God in any way. I'm not saying forgetting Him like we won't know Him but forgetting Him in a way where we stop spending time with Him. May the moments and time we spend with the Lord during our wilderness journey also come out when He brings us out and leads us into our very own Promised Land. Let us not forget His goodness and continue to praise Him during all seasons in our lives.
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