A year ago today, I married my best friend. We went to the the same high school and college. Knew about each other, but never really got to know each other until years after we both graduated from college. The both of us always wish we could of met earlier in life. It would of been more years of knowing each other, loving each other, and being together. But despite all of these circumstances and missed moments we had, we finally crossed paths and became friends. But little by little, an acquaintance turned into a friendship, that turned into a relationship, that turned into marriage.
I can't imagine sharing this life with anyone else. In one year, our marriage was tested with one of the most difficult storms in life. They say the first year of marriage is the most difficult, but it was actually easier for us. We were able to get to know more of each other in a positive way, support each other in difficult circumstances, and learned how to share bed space (lol). After our wedding, we went on an amazing honeymoon and traveled all over Italy, came home to start our new chapter in life, and then life took an unexpected turn. My sister will forever be part of every story I will ever write. This is one huge celebration in which I miss her so much. She was supposed to officiate our second wedding we were planning to have in the Philippines, earlier this year. I miss her praying over me, praying over us, and I just miss her prayers overall.
After the dream wedding, the dream honeymoon, we had a month and half of starting up and then the waves crashed. My sister was admitted to the ER, tests returned with the diagnosis of cancer. What once was a benign tumor, became a malignant and aggressive tumor. She had osteosarcoma (brain/skull cancer). This was rare, did not run in our family, and yet it happened to her. We spent our first Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years in a hospital, something that wasn't expected when you first get married. But I wouldn't trade celebrating those moments where my sister was still here for moments where we would be celebrating without her.
In one year of marriage, we encountered a huge testing to our faith. We saw the power of prayer happen again, miracles that God has and can perform even in this day and age. We experienced witnessing in a hospital to those who worked there and other patients and families who were in the hospital with my sister. We encountered so many other believers, that we began praying for one another. We then celebrated our first Valentine's Day, which would be the first "holiday"where we could do something outside of the hospital walls. We were feeling excited and happy that my sister recovered from her surgery in which the medical team removed the tumor and part of her skull that was affected, she left to go to rehab, and came home to be with us. Sadly, little did we know that we would have less than two months to be with her.
In one year of marriage, we experienced our highs in life, marrying each other, celebrating, traveling, and making memories to last a life time; however, in one year of marriage, we experienced our lows in life, and lost a sister, a beautiful soul, our pastor. We have celebrated a lot of firsts without her physically here. The Birthdays, Holidays, and Anniversary, have been such a struggle for us all since my family stays up until midnight to greet the celebrants, pray over them, toast to a new year, and celebrate all month long.
Our one year of marriage feels incomplete with the inability to really be able to do anything to celebrate, but most of all to celebrate in an incomplete home. But within this year, we have grown together in our marriage and in our relationship with God. I have my own personal struggles dealing with my sister not being here. I've questioned how real God can be if He allowed my sister to pass away so earlier, and was absolutely lost when it happened. I was searching for all the whys, rather than realizing the why nots.
As I see how much my husband and I have grown, I couldn't be more blessed to have him with me during these storms in life. We have been tested with caring more for each other, helping each other physically, emotionally, and spiritually, but most of all we have been tested in our faith with the moments we face with uncertainty. But the most important thing we continue to realize is how our character is being molded through the different types of circumstances faced. We can ask repeatedly why us when situations get tough, but then we come to see why not us? Through these experiences, are the stories we are able to share with the world. Stories in which we both hope to help others in the future if anyone ever experiences the same or similar situation.
As we celebrate our one year of marriage, there are so many questions that haven't been answered as to why we had to experience such a horrific moment in life, why my sister had to leave. But in all truth, life isn't perfect. We aren't guaranteed to live until our old age. Anything can literally happen. My sister didn't get the chance to get married before she passed away but one of the biggest blessings that I continue to see as I focus on her life is how she lived the right type of character in this life, especially how to love.
From 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, "4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres".
In our first year of marriage, we have learned to be more patient with one another, to continue being kind. To not envy of what others may have, but to be thankful for what we have. We are now slow to anger, not looking at who did what wrong. My sister's life impacted me more than I ever realized. She demonstrated the fruits of the spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, etc.), and the right characteristics of a Kingdom person and love.
In this year of marriage, we, especially I will be healing from what I have lost this year. But I will continue to grow not just for myself in the flesh, but in my kingdom relationship individually and with my husband. This life is too difficult to not live it with Christ in the center of everything. A relationship, most especially a marriage takes three and that's us and Jesus in the center of it all. He blessed us with a new year to be with each other, to continue growing in faith, giving us time to truly get to know Him the way my sister did while she was here, and preparing us for perfection in His presence.
Marriage can be difficult. It will never be perfect, it will never be an easy road; however, always having God in the midst of all circumstance, is how a difficult marriage can feel perfect, how a difficult road becomes easy, how we can experience some type of perfection in this imperfect world as long as we focus on the things above.
Within the first year of marriage, we've experienced the happiness, dealt with the hardships, passed through the rough storms, and living a quarantine/pandemic life. We experienced every emotion and situation you can think of. This is just the beginning of the next chapter, the new journey in our lives. Here's to many more years of love, joy, and memories together. This is our first year.
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