[No. 017] The Project of Remembering You & being in a Lavender Field

During the middle of the week, I was thinking about places that I could go to that didn't require a plane ride. With the current situation of our pandemic, traveling to another state and country, is not something we are all able to really do. It is still very difficult to find ways to go through this pandemic situation without feeling like everyday is a repeat with no room to breathe.

To find a way to do some self-care and keep sane, I had to search for ways to be able to get out of the house, and feel like I'm traveling to another place. As I was researching one night, I remember wanting to visit the Lavender Fields in Oregon. Since right now, it is not advised to travel especially by plane, I check to see if there was something locally. I was able to find a farm that usually has a Lavender Festival at this time; however, due to the current situation we are all in, the festival was cancelled but they still offered the ability to walk through the field and enjoy the smell, beauty, and experience of just walking through.

123 Farms is the largest organic lavender field in Southern California. The farm is located in Cherry Valley, California, which was about an hour away from where I lived. Since this was something I would be able to go to, I wanted to make sure I would be able to experience this before tickets run out and end the walk through. In order to walk through their field, tickets need to be purchased in advanced and will need to be reserved on a certain day and time.

I didn't realize it at the time, but I reserved my ticket on the day it was my sister's fourth month of not being on this earth with us anymore. It hit me how four months have passed and how much we miss her. Walking through the fields brought me more than a feeling of going out and doing something different from the day to day lifestyle we currently have. Walking through a lavender field felt so comforting and carefree that day.

For those who knew my sister well, purple was her favorite color. She was our purple lady, so walking through a field of beautiful lavenders was just perfect. As I entered, a monarch butterfly flew by. The monarch butterfly that is orange, reminds us of my sister for when she passed, a beautiful metal was given to us that had a monarch butterfly on it and it said, "In God's Presence". Being in the lavender field and seeing this butterfly made me feel like she was walking with me.

Oh, how I miss her. How life still feels odd and confusing. Where getting to a point of getting used to her not being around me some times begins to feel normal, but a part of me doesn't want to get used to it because I feel like I'm forgetting her. I know that's not true, and one day, I'll be able to face a life without her and finally tell myself, "It's okay, she is in God's presence", and finally feel okay saying and living that reality. I know Jesus gives us the peace that the world can't give us, I just need to allow him to flow through so I can heal more.

It was a great experience to walk through the lavender field, and it felt even more special being there on the fourth monthsarry of my sister's passing. It get's me sad, but it also encourages me in always remembering how she battled through brain cancer, how she continued to stay faithful and strong in believing in God, and faithfully living the kingdom life until the very end.

Her life will always be a reminder of what is important in this life and that we only have one chance to live it so we need to live it right and make it worth it. Do what will last eternally, and not to focus on the things we cant take with us to heaven.